Four More Weeks

I can hardly believe I will be leaving for Thailand in four short weeks.  There is still so much to do. And how in the world are we going to get everything we need to take in four bags weighing no more than 50 pounds each?  That sounds like a lot, but trust me, it is not when you start filling up the suitcases.  The list from Thailand keeps growing and the space in my suitcases keeps shrinking.  So, you might ask, what is on my list?

There are the personal needs, such as deodorant (Thai people don't use it, so we have to send it from here), shorts for Joseph (they don't have his size in Thailand), spices and seasonings for Sai's bakery that she can't find in Thailand.  My Sunday School class is providing makeover goodie bags for the disabled women's home and the children from church are going to be making cards and sending pictures for the Agape Children's Home.  These are just some of the things I will be packing along with the things I will need and of course my camera supplies.

And then there are the Christmas presents on the kids Christmas list.  So many of the things they are asking for are not available in Thailand or they are so much more expensive there, it is better to buy them here and take them over.  I don't think anyone would be able to guess what is on their list, because I never would have.  Makaila wants a mermaid tail.  Now this is a real mermaid costume that she can wear in the pool.  There is a flipper in the bottom just like a mermaid would have.  And Joshua wants a shark fin to wear in the pool.  Where in the world is Nai Nai to find these unique items?  No worries, Makaila even provided the website where said items could be purchased.  I am happy to say, both have been delivered and are ready to be packed.  I cannot wait to get pictures and do a mermaid and shark photo shoot.

Makaila sent this picture to me this weekend.  I absolutely love it.  I love my crazy hair and her pigtails.  I love the fact that I am wide and she is not.  I love the fact that my dress is covered in hearts and we are surrounded by hearts.  This made my heart swell because she loves me so much and we are surrounded by love and I am covered with love.  Isn't that what you see?  Wouldn't your grandma heart swell to receive such a wonderful picture from you grandaughter?  Well, I looked closer and right in the middle of my dress is something that looks like a dollar sign.  I thought no way.  How does she know what a dollar sign would look like?  It must be a Thai symbol that means I love my
Nai Nai, or Nai Nai loves me.

 My curiosity got the best of me and I had to ask Joseph.  Guess what?  It is a dollar sign.  He said, "She said it means that you have a lot of money."  I laughed out loud.  If only she knew.  Does she just love me because of the good gifts I give her?  Is her love for me predicated on what I can do for her or give her?  If you know anything about our relationship, you would know that is not the case. Yes, she enjoys the things I give her, but I believe in my heart of hearts she loves the time we spend together more.  Why do I believe this?  Last year right before they came home to visit I asked what she wanted to do when she got to America.  She told me she wanted to go to my house.  I asked what she wanted to do at my house and she said "Play.  I just want to play with you."  Wow.  That brought tears.

Also, I cannot count the times she has called me on Face Time and she ends up sitting the phone so I can watch her play with her ponies, or play a game on the iPad, or go into her room with her and see all the things she has set up there.  She has it all worked out that I get to sleep in her bed and she will sleep in her sleeping bag on the floor.  Somehow, I think we may end up sharing a bed, and that is ok
by me.

So, I started thinking about my relationship with my Heavenly Father.  Do I love Him only for all the things He does for me, or the things He gives me?  Am I content to just spend time with Him sharing even the little insignificant moments with Him?  Do I invite Him into the room of my heart and show him how I am making room for Him?  Do I spend time getting to know Him or do I just rattle off a Christmas list of my wants and requests.

I told the ladies in my Sunday School class this morning that God is creating a stirring in my heart.  I am tired of being complacent and content in my safe little world.  I believe that this trip to Thailand to spend 3 weeks on the mission field with Joseph, Sai and the kids is the beginning of a changed heart and a changed perspective on life.  Brian told me I will never be the same, and I am beginning to see that already.

Please pray for me as I continue to prepare for my journey that I will be willing and able to go where He leads and serve as He calls.