The Price of Love

It is so hard to believe that two years ago today, you went away.  So much has changed.  I have been a widow, single, unmarried for two years.  Two months ago, I sold our home.  I have been without my "stuff" for two months.  I have been without my dad for almost five months.  I have been without you for what seems a lifetime.   God has been so faithful through all the changes.  Our boys have been so incredibly thoughtful and loving.  I could never have made it without their love and support.  You taught them well, and for that I will forever be grateful.  

There have been many restless nights and many endless days.  But I must say, God has never forsaken me.  I cling to Him in all my times of distress.  I thank Him for allowing you to be a part of my life for nearly 40 years and for giving us three amazing sons.  I thank Him for the grief, because that grief is only there because there was a great love.  Even in the midst of the hard days, there was love.  And I am thankful for that and will forever mourn that it ended way too soon.  We promised to love each other all the days of our lives.  I loved you until the last day of yours, and love you still.

One of my favorite passages of scriptures that gives me great peace is Psalm 30

I will extol you, o Lord, for You have drawn me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me.

O Lord, my God, I cried to You for help, and You have healed me.

O, Lord, You have brought up my soul from Sheol; You restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit.

Sing praises to the Lord, o you, His saints, and give thanks to His holy name.

For His anger is but for a moment, and His favor is for a lifetime.  Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes in the morning.

As for me, I said in my prosperity, "I shall never be moved."

By Your favor, o Lord, You made my mountain stand strong; You hid Your face; I was dismayed.

To You, o Lord, I cry, and to the Lord I plead for mercy:

What profit is there in my death, if I go down to the pit?  Will the dust praise You?  Will it tell of Your faithfulness?

Hear, o Lord and be merciful to me!  O Lord, be my helper!

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,

that my glory may sing Your praise and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever!

My prayer is that I will continue to give thanks to God forever, for He is good.  He is my rock and my salvation.  It is only through His love and steadfast faithfulness that I have been able to get through the last two years.  It is only because of Him that my mourning is turning to dancing,  It is because of Him that I can have joy in the morning.  

My prayer for you is that if you don't know Him, you will seek Him and His love.

In His love,

Pam