Reflections of a Missionary's Mom

Where to begin.  As I sat here tonight reading all these old posts, I realized what an amazing journey God has brought me on.  So much has happened since my last post, I could not even begin to share it all.  This journey down memory lane was sparked by an email link Joseph sent to me several days ago to an article about the reflections of a missionary's mom.  He said, "You could write a better article than that" so I sat down and recorded my thoughts. You see, this article depressed me because the mother was sharing about all her negative feelings and even though she had prayed that God would use her children, she felt almost resentful because she would not be able to be around her grandchildren as they grew up.  It really made me think and examine my own feelings and emotions over the past couple of years and I can honestly say that even though there have been some sad days, I have never felt resentful, angry or depressed.

For those of you who may not know, Joseph informed us in December 2011 that he and Sai were following God's call on their lives to move to Thailand to serve as independent missionaries and they would be moving in June 2012.  Needless to say, that was a shock to my system and took a while to "wrap my head around it" as they say.  But, I want to share with you how it all began.

When I was expecting Joseph, I felt impressed to write a letter to him.  In the letter, I expressed my hopes and dreams for this, my first born child.  I did not know if he was a Joseph or a Jacqueline, but I did know this baby was a gift from God.  I also wrote that I believed that I was going to have the privilege of raising and loving this child, but at some point I was going to have to let go and give him/her back to God.  I truly had no idea that thirty years later this is exactly what was going to happen.  After a very difficult delivery, God blessed me with a beautiful baby boy whom we named Joseph David York.  Even though God blessed me with two more sons, I never felt the calling on them as I did Joseph.  I truly believe that each of my children are wonderful gifts from God, but I believe from the beginning, God was preparing me for what He would call Joseph to do.

I have always believed that my job as a mother was to raise my boys to love God and follow their dreams.  I always encouraged them to spread their wings and fly, and told them "The great thing about dreams is that they are yours and you get to fulfill them.  My dream for you is to honor God and be happy in whatever you choose to do."  It hasn't always been easy to let them go, but I know in my heart of hearts it is the right thing to do.  This brings me to Joseph's story from my perspective.

After several short term mission trips, in 2005, Joseph told me he was being called to Thailand to work with some missionaries he had met there.  I was of course apprehensive, and asked all the questions a mother would normally ask in this situation.  "How will you pay for the trip?"  "How will you support yourself?"  "Where will you live?"  "What about finishing school?" And, of course, he had an answer for each of my questions.  He raised support and went on faith.  In November of that year, he called to tell me he was getting married to Sai who was from Thailand and worked for the missionary organization there.  She had come to visit the U.S. once and we had met her, but I had no idea God was working out His plan to bring them together.  I truly did not see this one coming.  Again, I was apprehensive, but tried to be supportive.  I was finally getting a daughter, but didn't know how, if ever I would get to know her.  Through a set of circumstances that only God could orchestrate, he brought Joseph and Sai home to us a few months later.  They lived with us for several months as Joseph found a job and worked to support his new family.  I must say that I fell head over heels in love with my new daughter and couldn't be more pleased and thankful that God brought us all together.

As time went on, Joseph fulfilled one of his boyhood dreams by becoming a police officer. He went to work for the Atlanta Police Department and then we found out God was blessing us with our first grandchild.  Even though I loved my boys with all my heart, I experienced a love for my new granddaughter that I cannot explain.  She was and always will be my sweet little China doll, Makaila Li York.  Through the years, Joseph and Sai would mention and talk about going back to Thailand as missionaries, but I chose not to think about it.  I am very good at playing Scarlett O'Hara and thinking about things tomorrow.  Three years after Makaila was born, Joshua David York came into our lives.  And that little boy also stole my heart.  Still, there was talk of going to Thailand, but I chose not to dwell on it, instead I was enjoying every minute God was blessing me with to spend with my babies.

Christmas of 2011 changed everything.  Joseph and Sai told us they were going to put their house up for rent, he was quitting his job and they were moving to Pattaya, Thailand to serve as missionaries.  Not only that, they were not going with the International Mission Board or any other agency, but were going on faith, believing that God would provide all their needs.  Now, I must admit this did not sit well with me at first.  It was one thing for Joseph to go to Thailand as a young, single man who was able to fend for himself, but now he had a wife, two kids, a house and a job.  As I was questioning these decisions he was making, God reminded me of the "the letter."  I didn't want to be reminded of that, but in a quiet moment, I found Joseph's baby book and pulled out the letter that no one had ever read but me.  God spoke to my heart and reminded me that Joseph was His and that He had plans for Joseph's life.  I knew at that moment that it was time to give Joseph back to God, and not only him, but Sai, Makaila and Joshua as well.

God worked everything out for them. Joseph quit his job, they rented their house, sold their cars and raised support.  God supplied their every need at just the right time.  When it came time for them to leave, they packed all they possibly could into eight suitcases and I drove them to the airport.  I kept a smile on my face as my mother's heart was breaking.  My spiritual heart was beaming and overflowing with joy.  That's a hard concept to grasp but our choir sings a song titled "Where Joy and Sorrow Meet."  That's where I was.  I smiled, waved goodbye and took their picture as they walked away to a plane that would fly them half way around the world.  I got to my car and let the tears flow, but in the midst of my pain and sorrow, I felt God's peace wrap around me and hold me.  I can honestly say that I praised God at that moment for His faithfulness.  I had no bitterness or anger, but felt a sense of awe when I looked back and realized how God had woven His plan into place.

I am humbled beyond belief that God has allowed me to be a part of His plan in spreading His word across Asia.  As I work here in the States behind the scenes to support Joseph, Sai, the kids and Light for Asia, I get a front row seat to see all that God is doing and I am constantly amazed.  I am excited that I will get to make the journey to Thailand this December to experience first hand what God is doing there.  Pray for Wanda York and I as we begin to make preparations for our journey and I will try to keep you all updated.

In His Love,

Pam